My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
