Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
