i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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