I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
