man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
