the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
