WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
