remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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