Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
