So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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