why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I want to fling myself into the sun
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
