So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
