So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
