I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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