Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In America we eat man semen.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
