2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
