ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
