Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
