Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
