Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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