i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
