i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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