Tell her she can't have a vagina
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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