Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
