I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
