But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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