This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
