At least make sure they are 18
Why
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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