I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
