Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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