That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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