No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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