Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
