Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
