I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
