Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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