Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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