apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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