if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
