I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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