Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
