I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
