a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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