PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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