gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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