Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
