So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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