You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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