I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
