who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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