with your own penis?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
