i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
